In order to help one of my children face fear, I am facing one of my own: my fear of heights. This fall my husband and children built an amazing tree house. In addition to being high in the tree, it is located on a steep hill in our backyard. Its location on the hill means the tree house commands an impressive view of Rochester. It also means that we are sitting 30 or more feet above our rooftop. I will post pictures in later posts.
As someone who has feared heights her entire life, including driving in the mountains, this tree house has caused me much stress. I have teased my kids that I should win a good mommy award for my support, though I have made it equally clear that I would not be going up there.
In the past months one of my children has developed a controlling fear. As part of helping the child to face it, I have agreed to face my fear. The child is now my “coach” for facing my fear of heights. Today, I spent 20 minutes with my coach in the tree house. It has taken me more than an hour, since coming down, to feel that our house is not swaying under me and to not feel sick.
In the past few years I have faced many of the fears which have controlled me. Each time I have gained greater freedom and learned to enjoy life more. I am confident, (sort of), that I will be able to overcome my fear of heights as well. (I am applying a huge dose of positive thinking here. I am also a bit stuck as this is the most serious object lesson I have taken on with my kids 
Today, I realized that healthy fear provides us with information about possible danger and risk. We then need to use our minds, the advice of others, our past experiences, and the past experiences of others to decide if it is a risk worth taking. Life is full of risk. If we never faced fear, we would be forced to sit inside and (as my fearful child said) twiddle our fingers. Though even twiddling our fingers is not without risk. Ironically as I heard on the radio earlier this morning, people who sit at computers all day without regular physical movement and activity are at a much higher risk to die early than those who move every hour or so. Interestingly they likely do not perceive the danger and therefore feel no fear.
Hopefully I will sleep well tonight, knowing I will be climbing that ladder again tomorrow and spending 25 minutes in the tree house.
